Be in my heart, always
by MusicalTB2
Summary: A very sad story but also a game, try to find the lyrics to You'll be in my Heart. The boys and Jeff reflect on Lucille's birthday. Rights belong to Disney and Supermarionation. I will give the Birds back I promise. Please RR, it means a lot to me x
1. Birthday

Midnight struck on Tracy Island and Scott decided it was probably time to go to bed, he'd kept himself up thinking about the rescue they had all got back from earlier in the day, his body was telling him he was tired but his mind was the opposite, finally with a sigh he left the lounge and made his way down the corridor of bedrooms belonging to his brothers, he was just going past his youngest's room when he heard a small sob. He knocked but no answer came, typing in the password quietly he waited for the door to hiss open, he looked towards the bed where a body shook silently. Scott approached the bed and sat down stroking the blonde head.

"Alan? What's the matter?"

"Go away Scott" murmured Alan, his face buried in the pillow.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

Alan lifted his head and shook it "no."

"Come, stop your crying, or I'll go and get Virgil."

"He'd love that" Alan sniffed.

"Exactly, now tell me, what's bothering you?"

Alan sighed and wiped his tears away "that rescue yesterday was really tough, and it brought back painful memories."

"In what way?"

"The avalanche, it made me think of, you know, mum."

Scott nodded "Ali, you know Dad did everything he could to save her, he was just too late."

"It was hard trying to keep it together."

"But at least we rescued everyone, don't worry about this Alan, it'll be alright, you'll see. Come on, get some sleep now" Scott kissed Alan's forehead.

"See you in the morning Scott."

"Sure" Scott smiled and the door closed.

The next day was worse, the day no-one really wanted to remember, it would have been their mother's fortieth birthday had she been alive, Scott sat on the balcony watching the sun come up remembering something his mother had told him whenever he was afraid 'just take my hand. Hold it tight' "I wish I could mother" Scott sighed and blinked back tears, he heard footsteps behind him and he wiped his eyes on the sleeve.

"Son? You're up early, what's the matter?" Jeff asked as Scott turned slightly.

"You know what day it is Dad, there's no need to ask."

Jeff sighed "I know this day is always hard Scott but it's alright."

"But it isn't Dad! It's been ten years now since she died and we still haven't moved on, no-one is here to provide extra protection for us."

"Scott, you know I will protect you from all around."

Scott nodded "but it's not the same, if mum was alive you could come out on rescues with us."

"What are you saying son, what's bothering you?"

The eldest sighed "Alan was crying in his room last night, he was upset about the avalanche rescue we went on yesterday."

"Lucille's death."

"Yeah. The rescue reminded him of what happened to mum, he was only eight, eight dad! And it's still affecting him now at eighteen!"

"Scott."

"I've done my part dad as their eldest brother, it's your turn now, to be a dad" Scott stood up and headed back into the lounge to go down to the kitchen where he found Gordon.

"Morning Scooter, are we the only ones up?"

"Dad's awake, he's upstairs."

Alan joined them shortly and tried not to make eye contact, he hadn't slept much after Scott had spoken to him in the night "morning" he croaked.

"Are you feeling alright Alan? You look dreadful" Gordon asked comfortingly.

"I'm fine, just drop the subject."

"Well, I'm here for you if you want to talk."

"I said I'm fine Gordon!" Alan snapped.

"Gordon, leave him alone" Scott said gently.

"I'm only reassuring him that I will be here if he needs me, don't you cry about it" Gordon tutted and left the kitchen taking the steps at the quick sprint.

"What's got into Gordon?" Virgil asked looking over his shoulder.

"Don't mind him. Did you sleep well?"

"Good thanks Scott. Dad's looking upset this morning, is he alright?"

"I'll talk about it later Virg" Scott frowned and Virgil looked automatically at Alan.

"I'm going to eat by the pool" Alan stood up and went out onto the terrace.

"Ok Scott, what's going on?" Virgil asked sternly.

"C'mon Virg, surely you know what day it is?"

Virgil's eyes widened "mum's birthday, oh god. Alan."

"Exactly. Dad's not much help on this, he's just as depressed as we are on the subject, it's only been ten years."

"And what about you? How are you coping?"

Scott looked down "I'm not Virg, that's the problem."

Virgil came around the other side of the table and put an arm around his brother protectively, for one moment the hug shocked Scott, then tears, so small at first, then bigger began to fall down Scott's cheeks.

"Oh Scott, you seem so strong but you're just as unstable as the rest of us" Virgil chuckled lightly "come on, let's go and talk to Dad,"

Scott looked up from Virgil's shoulder "no, I've already tried."

Virgil rolled his eyes "you are so stubborn, unbelievably stubborn."

Reluctantly, Scott followed his brother up to the lounge where Jeff had already started on the reports to the previous missions, the two brothers sat down on the sofa.

"Dad, Alan's upset again" Scott sighed.

Jeff looked up "where is he?"

"By the pool. Gordon has stormed off somewhere."

"He's gone to his room, he left the lounge as I was starting my work, what's wrong with him?"

"Alan won't let him hear what the matter is" Scott sighed.

"I wish you weren't all so stubborn with each other. Alright, I'll go and talk to Alan, you two find Gordon" Jeff rose from the desk and looked out towards the pool.

"FAB, come on Virg."

Jeff approached his youngest son and sat down beside him.

"Dad" Alan croaked "I really miss her."

Jeff looked at Alan whose eyes were now brimming with tears "I do to son."

"I saw the avalanche Dad, and yesterday brought back all those memories" Alan sniffed and Jeff put an arm around his shoulders.

"Let me tell you something my mum used to say to me, well she still does sometimes, 'my arms will hold you and keep you safe, nothing will hurt you as long as you believe in yourself' and I stick by that, I want you to remember that too."

"What are you saying Dad?"

"Basically Alan, let your brothers know how you're feeling, don't keep this sort of memory to yourself, Gordon especially."

"Have I hurt his feelings?" Alan looked up at the open lounge.

"A little, why don't you make amends?"

Alan smiled "I guess talking about it will warm me up a little from the cold memory."

"That's my boy" Jeff smiled back and pulled his youngest into a hug then watched him go up to the lounge to find Gordon. Alan approached his brother's door and knocked.

"Leave me alone Dad."

"Gords, it's Alan."

The door opened and Gordon looked up from where he was sitting on the bed with Scott and Virgil.

"Should I come back?" Alan asked as Virgil rubbed Gordon's shoulder.

"No, you better come in" Gordon smiled.

"I'm really sorry Gordon. I shouldn't hide my feelings on this day and I know you were trying to help."

"Only trying? Alan, I desperately wanted to help you! Don't forget that I was the one who found you with mum on the slope" Gordon choked back tears.

Virgil grabbed Scott's arm and pulled him outside onto Gordon's balcony shutting the doors behind him.

"Virgil, what the hell?" Scott complained.

"Let them talk this over alright?"

Back inside Alan continued as Gordon grew more depressed.

"Dad found me on the slope with mum, I never saw you."

"That's because you were almost unconscious! Dad and I practically had to dig you out of the snow" Gordon's tears were now flowing freely and he tried to wipe them away.

"Unconscious?"

"Out of all of us Ali, we're the closest. This bond between us can't be broken, haven't you ever wondered why we're so close?"

"Because you saved me" Alan smiled tearfully suddenly realising the connection and joined Gordon on the bed in a tight hug "I will never leave you feeling lost Gordy, I will be here, don't you cry."

"I can't help it" Gordon laughed as Alan wiped away tears.

"Are you guys alright?" Virgil asked almost breaking down himself at the sight in front of him.

Gordon nodded "I am now."

"Come on Virg, our job is done" Scott smiled and made his way to the door, Jeff's voice suddenly filled the room.

"Boys, could you all join me please?"

"Sure Dad, we're on our way."


	2. Cemetery

Once settled Jeff called John and began the discussion.

"I hate doing this but we need to go to the cemetery."

"Shall I prepare to leave 5 dad?" John asked.

"Yes John, Scott could you go and collect him?"

"Sure Dad, see you soon John" Scott smiled and the sofa went down.

"What time should we leave?" Virgil asked sitting down at the piano.

"As soon as Scott returns with John. I'm going to pick some flowers for Lucille" Jeff turned away from his sons before they saw his tears.

For a short period the lounge was quiet all apart from the soft melody Virgil was playing, Gordon stood up and went off to the garden to join Jeff leaving Alan on the other sofa, he sighed and joined Virgil on the bench.

"This is the worst part."

"Of the composition? Cruel Ali" Virgil teased getting a grin from his brother.

"Having to go to the mainland, I dread it."

Virgil bit his lip "it's alright Al, you'll see I promise, have I ever lied?"

"No, you haven't" Alan leant against Virgil's arm watching his brother's fingers "I just feel so lost without her sometimes, these last few years have been so hard."

"I completely understand, I was only fourteen when she died, I felt like part of me had been ripped out, it's only thanks to Scott that I've patched up."

"Scott?" Alan looked up at his brother.

Virgil nodded "if it hadn't been for him I would still be an emotional wreck, but I don't really want to talk about it, sorry."

Alan sighed "I'm going to collect some flowers for mum's grave, thanks for the chat Virg."

Alan slipped off the stool and went downstairs, Virgil watched him go then buried his face into his hands sobbing quietly at the piano. Scott and John returned and stood up from the sofa stretching as they did, then Scott noticed Virgil, he ran over and sighed.

"Virg, what's the matter?"

"Mum" that's all he said.

Scott nodded and John came over kneeling by the stool to take Virgil's hand, the brown eyes looked down and brightened a little seeing John.

"I'm here Virgil, don't cry" John closed his eyes as Virgil hugged him.

"I need to find Dad, we'll be leaving soon" Scott excused himself and left his brothers at the piano.

Soon the family were ready to leave for the mainland and they got into the family's jet, each carrying a small bouquet of flowers, Grandma carried a large bunch to place into the vase placed at the graveside.

Once on the mainland they found a dis-used field near to the cemetery and landed, the cemetery was quaint and decorated with various trees which grew over the dead, Lucille's grave was under a lilac tree which in full blossom. Rose took the old flowers out of the vase and replaced them with the ones she had brought, Jeff followed suit and ran his fingers along the writing on the stone 'you'll be in my heart, from this day on, now and forever more' "I love you Lucille my beautiful wife, no matter what they say, you'll be in my heart always."

The boys placed their smaller bouquets by the grave and stood back letting their tears fall onto the place where their mother slept. With heavy hearts they returned to the jet and went home, as they flew over the cemetery Rose comforted her son who looked close to having a complete meltdown.

Later in his bedroom Jeff went through his private photo album, he paused on one of Lucille in her wedding dress on their honeymoon and thought back to their wedding day.

_It was a glorious sunny day under a flowery canopy and Jeff stood at the alter nervously awaiting his wife-to-be, he heard the organ strike up the march and turned to see Lucille at the end of the aisle smiling, her brown-blonde hair tied up beautifully behind the veil, as she approached him she laughed quietly as her father whispered something in her ear, then they were facing each other, blue eyes looking into honey coloured ones._

Jeff smiled knowing exactly whom Virgil's eyes reminded him of, he turned the page to a group photo of the wedding.

_The priest asked if anyone had anything to object about the marriage and one of Lucille's work mates shouted something as a joke, Lucille shook her head and muttered "don't listen to them" then the priest announced them husband and wife, and they kissed. __During the reception party Jeff and Lucille went down to the garden together._

_"__I love you so much Jeff, I've never loved anyone else more than you."_

_Jeff smiled "as do I, our friends can't say anything now, besides, what do they know?"_

_"__Nothing about eternal love that's for sure" Lucille mused._

Jeff closed his eyes and placed a hand over a photo of Lucille "I need you Lucille, we need each other. You promised me, to have and to hold. I miss you so much."

Back in the lounge Virgil was playing to his brothers, John was leaning on his legs looking solemn whilst Alan rested his head on Gordon's shoulder and Scott was sharing the piano bench with Virgil looking out from the keys.

"Do you think Mum would approve of International Rescue?" John asked looking up from the ground.

"Of course she would, mum was always looking out for others" Scott smiled.

"I just wish we had been in the organisation when we went on that skiing holiday."

Scott frowned and Virgil turned round "what are you trying to say John?"

"If we had been older she may have stood a chance of surviving, that's all" John gulped "we always try to live up to the motto; 'When destiny calls you, you must be strong' but right now I don't feel like I could be strong on a rescue."

"It's the successful rescues which keep us going" Alan wiped a tear away.

Gordon nodded "look guys, we can't feel so bad on this one day."

Virgil smiled thinly "Gordon's right, International Rescue has to carry on" he turned back and continued to play.

That evening after dinner Virgil returned to the piano alone and paused by the piano remembering his mother's last dying words to him "I may not be with you but you've got to hold on, you'll see in time, we'll show them together" Virgil smiled and pressed down on the pedal to start playing.

"Oh mother, where are you?" he asked aloud as a couple of tears fell down his cheeks.

"Just look over you shoulder" Jeff said and Virgil turned seeing his father holding a framed image of Lucille "where would you like it?"

Virgil smiled tearfully "on the piano dad, looking out onto the ocean."

Jeff returned the gesture then pulled his son into a hug "you are so much like your mother Virgil."

**_Sorry if this made anyone cry, it almost made me :) it was a challenge writing this, some of the lyrics don't really make sense. Cannot wait for the new Thunderbirds and writing for them!_**


End file.
